My Babies In Heaven

NOTE TO READER: Four years ago – after two perfect pregnancies that resulted in the supernatural delivery of my two beautiful sons – I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. The miscarriage was difficult physically, and it shook me to the core both emotionally and spiritually. I suffered with depression as a result. In the 10 months following that miscarriage, I had two more miscarriages (both very early). I was stuck in grief during that period of time, but Jesus was faithful. He met me where I was, and led me back to joy in Him that same year. Had you asked me prior to June 20, 2012, I would’ve told you that Jesus had set me free from the grief associated with those 3 miscarriages. On June 20, 2012, I had a 4th miscarriage at 7 weeks. The grief and pain returned like a flood. Read my honest, raw conversations with Jesus about my loss and pain in my previous blog entry: http://www.cwgministries.org/blogs/glory-glory-promise

When the Lord woke me at 5am on Sunday, July 1, 2012, I knew He had something for me. I immediately went to Him using "The 4 Keys," and this is how He instantaneously healed me of grief, and restored me to joy.

If you were to ask my husband, he would tell you I was not the same person after this encounter with the Lord. Jesus literally exchanged grief for joy in an instant. The transaction was supernatural and permanent. He took me from glory to glory. He took me to a deeper place in Him. I am so grateful I can hear His voice. To God be the glory.

I share my very personal story publically because I know many women and men have suffered the tremendous grief associated with the loss of a child (or children) to miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth, SIDS, accidents, and unspeakable tragedies. Please share my testimony with others that need to hear of Jesus’ love for them and His desire and ability to redeem even their deepest pain.

July 1, 2012 – Sunday

MY BABIES IN HEAVEN

I quiet myself: “I am here, Jesus. I love You. I worship You. I am Yours forever. You are Emmanuel. You are the Lover of my soul. Oh how I love You. Oh how I worship You. Your love overwhelms me. I am here, sweet Jesus. I am here. I long to see Your face. I long to hear Your voice. What is it You want to share with me today? Where are You, Lord? I look for You. I choose to set my mind and my eyes on things above. I look to You. You are the air I breathe. You are the song I sing. Without You, there's no living.”

I see myself dancing in worship. Jesus comes behind me. He dances with me. I move in Him. He moves with me. Together we move. He is alive. He is with me. I turn around and fall into His embrace. He holds me in His arms. He begins to spin faster and faster and faster. He grows bigger and bigger and bigger. I remain the same size. I am completely and totally abandoned to Him. Where He ends and I begin, I do not know. He has become a funnel cloud of His glory. I am in the center of Him. I see my form. His form is now a funnel cloud, but His face is at the center of the funnel cloud. He is smiling at me. I smile at Him. I see what appears to be gold dust or gold particles swirling around me at top speed. I feel warm. His glory penetrates my skin. It sinks into me. I am now the same color as His glory. My form is intact, but I am the color of His glory cloud.

“This is My glory. I am Glory. I am taking you from glory to glory.”

His feet are still on the earth. His glory cloud is huge. It stretches from the earth all the way up into the sky. I sensed we were moving. I look left to right, and I see nothing but His glory on either side of me. Every which way I see His glory. But His glory is no longer just gold. It is a rainbow of what appears to be glory dust – moving particles dancing and spinning. They dance and spin together and become shapes. Every color of the rainbow is represented. The colors are subtle but brilliant. They are soft but so bright I almost have to look away, but I do not.

“You are seeing in the spirit. These are heavenly beings.”

All of a sudden, I see children playing among the orbs. They are chasing them and catching them as if they are playing with bubbles. I start sobbing. I realize my children [my 4 children lost to miscarriage] are here. I cling to the Lord. I am overcome with intense emotions of joy. I cannot stop sobbing. Jesus puts me down. I am still the same color as His glory cloud. The children are the same color as His glory cloud. The children start lining up holding hands. I see my babies in the center of the line. I recognize them. I have 2 girls and 2 boys.

“Jesus, they are so beautiful.”

I am weeping. I am on my knees. My babies run to me.

“MOMMY!”

The oldest girl holds her baby sister in her arms. She gives her to me. I cradle the baby and embrace my children.

Children are still lining up. As far as I can see, I see children lining up. They are now singing a song. They are singing of the Lord's Holiness. I realize I am looking at all the children lost before birth to miscarriage or stillbirth.

My Lord speaks: “These children have never known pain, discomfort, or lack. These children went straight from their mother's womb into My embrace. All children are created for fellowship with Me, but these children have never known anything else.”

My children stay with me. The other children run to Jesus. His glory has now expanded the length and breadth of them. Every child runs right into Him. I hear His laughter and theirs.

My Lord speaks: “Oh how I love them and adore these perfect ones. What did not have the opportunity to live on earth, lives in eternity with Me, in My presence.”

I stand up, still embracing my children. I can now see behind the ones Jesus is ministering to. I am shocked when I see the multitude behind them. As far as the eye can see I see millions and millions of children singing peacefully and worshiping.

My Lord speaks: “These are the children whose lives were taken by abortion. Aren't they beautiful?”

These children are a different color of His glory – there is something different about them. I am not sure what it is. There are many, many, many more of them. I am looking at a sea of children. They are a different shade of glory.

My Lord speaks: “There is nothing that My glory cannot perfect. I have perfected all things concerning these children too.”

There is nothing but pure joy and peace in Jesus' presence, in His glory, but I look into Jesus' eyes and I see sadness when he looks at the sea of children. The sea of children begin to move as one being, as a wave. They begin to dance and stir up His glory.

“These children have been received by My love and glory. Their lives were taken from them on earth, but for eternity they will know My presence. They will know no more pain, no more rejection, no more sadness, no more loss.”

I am looking at a sea of dancing children, moving as one in dance. They are forming waves.

“These are the waves of My love, grace and mercy. These children were welcomed by My love, grace and mercy. They are glorified in My Presence.”

The children stay together. There is nothing but pure love in the hearts of these children, but both groups represent different aspects of the Lord's glory. The sea of children begins to part. And Jesus sweeps me and the first group of children into the opening. My children stay with me. We are carried away by His glory through the sea of dancing, glorified children. I cannot take my eyes off of their movements. Their movements simulate the waves of the ocean perfectly. I hear chords of humming as we move through the parted sea of children. Each wave produces a different chord of voices raised together in worship in a humming sound that sings of the glory of the Lord. Their voices create a harmony of syllables. It sounds like a song sung in the language of angels. I see waves of glory rising and falling in unison above the children who move in unison in dance, making waves. I'm not sure if the glory waves are moving the children, or the children are moving the glory waves. But they move together in unison. Glory is dancing on top of the dancing children. They are dancing with the Lord's glory.

The group of children moving with Jesus through the parted sea of children is still surrounded by the dancing bubbles of color and glory.

My Lord speaks: “My glory manifests differently to bring glory to all.”

We have come to the other side of the sea of children. On the other side is a huge playground, filled with laughter. I see multitudes of children playing and laughing.

The group of children I am with is still singing of the holiness of the Lord. They are still playing with the orbs, the bubbles of light, as they sing. The sea of children still raise their voices in a chorus of harmonies.

The children on the playground turn and cheer for Jesus when He appears on the scene. They all run to Him. They laugh and jump on Him. They are jumping up and down, and pumping their arms in delight and praise. They are jubilant.

“These are the children who never reached adulthood on earth.”

They are still jumping up and down, cheering for Jesus. Jesus joins some in a game of basketball. The children return to their play. These children are yet another shade of glory. The group of children I am with join in the fun. There are baseball games and basketball games, soccer games and touch football games. I see angels playing with them. Children play tag with angels and each other. The dancing lights stay close to the children that belonged to the group I am with.

I watch Jesus playing basketball. I am sitting on the ground with my 4 children. Hugging them, kissing them. I am holding the baby, but all of them are in my lap at the same time. They are so beautiful and they smell of purity. They smell of Jesus. The sound of laughter, songs of holiness, and the choir of harmonies of peace fills my ears. I watch the rainbow orbs of color dance around my children. My older son reaches out and catches one. He gives it to me. He smiles at me. We embrace. I am in heaven.