Dale Cresap's blog

Have you ever opened up to a friend in vulnerable exposure? What happened next? The response to such an action is a measure of the depth and maturity of the friendship. The concept of exposure is real. You take a risk of a bad reaction that will make you regret taking the chance. Yet you need healing or you wouldn’t have taken the risk, and sharing your story offers a loving friend to be a part of the healing process. You need to know that you are not alone, that others have struggled too, and that they are there for you. Are you able to do this for others who confide in you?

Do you have weaknesses that you would describe as faults rather than sins? Do you make every effort to hide and deny them even from yourself? Are you afraid that if you admit them they will become a part of your identity? Do you understand that you already have an identity that doesn’t consist of your flaws? The former position is one of insecurity and hustling for worth. The latter is one of radical acceptance. It provides a secure identity from which you can acknowledge all the aspects of your being and know the truth and be free.

Have you been taught not to trust your feelings? Can you trust this teaching? What can you trust? Your thoughts? Have they ever been wrong? You live in an age in which rational thought is placed above everything else. Does this mean your feelings should be dismissed as irrelevant? Yet they are real for you. If feelings cannot be taken as a guide, can reasons? Have you ever known anyone to generate reasons in support of their feelings? Have you ever done so yourself? Feeling and thinking can both be sanctified as a part of your relationship with me.

Do you think there is anything more important than your spiritual practices, such as Bible study, church attendance, and prayer? You also affirm the ministry of assistance to other people in need, so which of these is more important? How would you assign priorities to these tasks? I have already given you direction in this matter. I said that if you bring your gift to the altar and recall that your brother has an issue with you to leave your gift at the altar and go and be reconciled with your brother before returning to offer your gift.

Do you have many friends? Do you see them as a form of wealth that is greater than money? You have heard references to a friend of a friend that is often used in a comical sense, but friends of friends can become friends. Do you have a better source of friends than that? Do you think of friendship in a spiritual sense? I do. My disciples had been with me for years but it wasn’t until the end that I told them that I called them no longer servants but friends, and that greater love had no man than that he lay down his life for his friends.

Do you lead a charmed life in an enchanted world? Are you aware of divine intent and favor in your life? If you have never been without it would you know the difference? What would you use as a standard of comparison? If I were not present what sort of world would you expect? Can you make a credible argument for anything other than random chaos? Yet how many times have you experienced events that could not be explained by randomness; and convergences of events that worked together in your favor? Does reality have a shape and direction and evidence of benevolence?

Do you think that I am unchanging? That is a point of Christian doctrine. Has your perception of me changed? I hope so. The alternative is to think that your first impression of me was correct and complete. That is a strong assumption. Have you already seen your understanding of me change as you grow and learn? It is normal for your understanding of me to change as you change, based on the scriptures, your life experiences and your encounters with others. Be teachable and prepared to let go of old concepts when they no longer serve you.

Are you a Pharisee? You don’t have to read very far in the gospels to realize that I had a low opinion of them, and warned my followers not to be like them. On this basis would you expect them to be a dominant enduring force throughout history? But they were a fairly short-lived Jewish sect in the span of history. Why are they given so much emphasis in the Bible? The underlying principles are present in every generation even if they are called by another name. The Bible was written for you.

Have you ever done the right thing for the wrong reason? Or done the right thing in the wrong way? For instance, you can help the poor in a way that is self-righteous and judgmental toward them and toward those who are not as diligent in charity as you are. Is this moral? If it is, it is ugly morality, and you have seen how distasteful this can be. I told my followers not to let one hand know what the other was doing when they made donations. Have you also seen people do the right thing in a way that was humble and gracious and attractive? You could think of this as beautiful morality.

Do you drink when you are thirsty and eat when you are hungry? Those would be biological cues to satisfy biological needs. But aren’t you subject to social and cultural cues for eating as well? You eat at social functions whether you are hungry or not, and your food intake is usually on a fixed schedule. It is considered anti-social to decline dinner claiming you are not hungry even if that is true. Do you have spiritual hunger and thirst as well? When do you satisfy those? Are you on a fixed schedule for that as well?