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God I'm all religioned out.

Mark Holloway's picture

Good. Me  too. I’m waiting in the wings  for a chance to be real. In your face, talking all the time, that kind of real.

Ok then. If that’s the case, then there’s something I want to mention. Is that ok?

Absolutely. Go ahead.

Ok. God I like this idea of constant conversation with you about everything.

Good. Me too again.

Every single little thing discussed with you; it really is a great idea. Don’t get me wrong, I really like it. Seriously. I mean that. The possibilities for an amazingly fulfilled life are overwhelming. And loneliness, I’m sorry to admit it, but the thought that loneliness might somehow be taken away is a very strong draw card. It’s very, very appealing to be honest - the thought of enjoying company, and friendship and togetherness with the three of you is actually mind-blowing. I get overwhelmed when I think about it.

But God there’s just one thing. I have to admit that trusting you is a bit frightening. Frightening, but also exciting I guess. Heart in mouth kind of stuff. Believing what you’ve told me, that my human needs for company and friendship can actually be met by you is scary, but at the same time exhilarating. I’m like really God?? Aren’t I supposed to get these needs for company met by a human?

No. You get them met by me. Sounds impossible doesn’t it? Obviously it does, because your modern Christian belief system puts me high up on an often-silent throne. Hard to approach, lots of rules involved. A subtle lie. Obviously you can’t have a chemical, human relationship with an invisible God who sits silent way up high on a throne. So you have no choice other than to seek your company from another human first.

But I’m saying this is not an optional extra for nuns, monks and hermits, but what every human was made for. Your first, human, all-needs-met friendship is meant to be with me. It really is. That’s what you’re designed for. But as I said, your modern Christian view of me makes that impossible. The early church understood. They’d seen me, seen God come to earth as a person and engage with humans. They understood that part of the story. That’s what attracted them. The ‘God, made himself a little lower than the angels’ story. They got that, and could engage with me at a human level. Too many lies have been told to the church since then. It’s time the lies were undone, time the story was retold.  Who’s going to do that for us?

Certainly not me God. But there are authors like Wm Paul Young, and Baxter Kruger to whom you have given a platform, a huge  world-wide audience.

Yes and they’re telling the story already. Handsomely. Not just them. Secular rock bands, un-churched writers, poets, and business people, Tolkien, Lewis, the list goes on. There are many telling this story. Many who in their shrugging of religion and their search for the real God are discovering parts of the truth. But I want millions telling this story, retelling the story that has been marred. Are you up for that Mark? Want to be one of millions??

Well ok. I don’t feel very well equipped though.  But yes ok.

I guess I’m getting this God. Slowly. It’s frightening though. Like a total commitment to the idea of getting my human, chemical, physical company first and foremost from you.


I’ll admit that on the one hand the idea seems incredible, fantastic, amazing; but on the other hand absolutely crazy. Like ‘what am I thinking!?!?!’ A bit like that last second or two before a bungy jump, or those heart stopping moments before you twist the throttle and head your Harley bumping and banging, kicking and bucking down a dusty dirt road in the Australian desert – much safer to stick to the tarmac.

Actually God that all sounded just a little too poetic, romantic, a bit over-written. Because to be honest I’m just plain scared. To get my need for human company from you. When I’m so often lonely to come looking to you. To expect you to meet me and comfort and befriend and talk with me.

We hear it preached, but you and I both know that so often the preacher has no idea what the words mean. It’s not their fault. The people who preached it to them had no real idea either. Those words are so often just Christian platitudes. But yet now I keep hearing those words coming from YOUR lips. And it worries me. Over the years I’ve been burned, we’ve all, every one of us believers have been burned hearing those platitudes preached, then trying to fill our lonely spaces with a God whose story is great, but who stays largely silent.

Sorry God but that’s how it’s been. You’ve been so often silent. We pretend you’re not, but many of us can count on two hands the number of times we’ve heard you speak. It’s not enough God. Not nearly enough. Silent niceness isn’t enough when the lonely hole aches and won’t be quiet. Not enough at all.


You’re preaching to the converted Mark! I don’t like your religion, don’t buy into it any more than the rest of you. It’s not my idea. It’s a misguided attempt to describe a God who’s not quiet, but noisy. Who’s not distant but right here. Who doesn’t want you to do all the talking, and singing, and dancing, and shouting, and raising money, and building buildings, and organising events – but actually wants to do more of that than you. The God who’s waiting patiently, in the wings for a chance to be real. Let me?

Ok. I’d sure like you to be. I need you to be. I can’t do this whole lonely life thing without a real, present, human, talking, interrupting, being real God. Sorry, but I can’t anymore. I’m all religioned out.

Good. Me too.

 

Mark Holloway

THE FREEDOM DIARIES

(The Freedom Diaries Book is available on this website. Just click top right of this page)

 

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Related Resources: 

How to Hear God's Voice!   

Related Blogs: 

How to Hear God’s Voice   
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Anonymous's picture

Mark I really appreciate this conversation between you and GOD. I can relate and I thank you for articulating this subject so well.
Blessings from a tired, but GOD-expectant ex religionist. [Now that's a title is it not!?!] :D

Mark Holloway's picture

And I think you'll find there are millions, literally millions like you. I'm one. Hoping for God but fed up with, burned out and wounded by religion. And I'm not even talking about the hurts we inflict on each other in the name of God. I'm talking about the wound that Religion himself inflicts. He tells our 'God Expectant' hearts that we'll find God under all the covers of religion, but when we strip them back he's not there. That hurts. God isn't contained by the rules of religion. Thanks again for your encouragement. MARK.

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Complete Library of Virkler Books (Not All Items Pictured)

Complete Library of Virkler Books

55 Books - Save $513 Now!

Benefit from 40+ years of writings by Drs. Mark and Patti Virkler. They are passionate to lead you into Spirit-anointed living by providing biblically-based, real life, "how to" training manuals on Christian spirituality. Their down-to-earth teachings are perfect for personal and small group training experiences. Special Bonus: Includes books by their daughter, Charity Virkler Kayembe. This is an excellent library of materials for a home, church or Christian school to have on hand.

Price: $495.00

Complete Library of Virkler Books, CDs and DVDs

92 Items - Save over $694 now!

Benefit from over 40 years of training by Drs. Mark and Patti Virkler. They are passionate to lead you into Spirit-anointed living by providing biblically-based, real life, "how to" training manuals on Christian spirituality. Their down-to-earth teachings are perfect for personal and small group training experiences. Special Bonus: Includes teaching materials by their daughter, Charity Virkler Kayembe. This is an ideal library of materials for a home, church or Christian school to have on hand.

Price: $1,234.00

Counseled by God Master Package USB Flash Drive

PDF eBook | 13 MP3s | 13 Videos | 52 Page Workbook| Electronic Training Module

Have you ever been defeated by negative emotions such as anger, fear, guilt, inferiority, condemnation or depression? Have you tried to fight them off unsuccessfully? Is there an answer that is deeper than simply trying to mentally reason yourself out of these emotions? Is there a way that Jesus can speak a word of life into the depths of your emotional despair and bring healing on a deep level? Is there a form of Christian counseling that begins and ends with the movement of Christ within your heart, rather than simply with the words of man?

Price: $89.00

Dream Your Way to Wisdom Complete Discounted e-Package

2 Books | 21 MP3 Downloads | 16 Digital Videos | Save 15%

Do you often wake up feeling there was a significant message in your dream, but you’re just not sure what it is? Like Daniel and Joseph, do you long to be able to help others understand their own dreams and win them to Christ as you explain His night messages to them? This downloadable training package contains two PDF ebooks, two sets of MP3s, and one set of digital videos. Mark Virkler authors one series and his daughter, Charity Kayembe, the other.

Price: $122.22

Empowered by the Spirit Complete Package

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 2 booklets | 3 CD/DVD sets | Save 10%

You don't have to wait 20 years, like I did, to move in the supernatural power of God. Once you know WHAT to do, it is simply a matter of doing it. You take your newfound understanding of how to move in the Spirit and you walk out on the water in faith and discover the anointing of God rests upon you and flows through you. Let us teach you how!

Price: $43.97

Empowered by the Spirit Deluxe Package

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 10 booklets | 3 CD/DVD sets | Save 10%

You don't have to wait 20 years, like I did, to move in the supernatural power of God. Once you know WHAT to do, it is simply a matter of doing it. You take your newfound understanding of how to move in the Spirit and you walk out on the water in faith and discover the anointing of God rests upon you and flows through you. Let us teach you how!

Price: $52.00

Everyday Angels Master Package USB Flash Drive

eBook | 9 MP3s | 9 Digital Videos | PowerPoint | Save $198!

You can partner with Heaven's angelic hosts!

Discover how to encounter, engage and experience angels in everyday life.

I GUARANTEE you will learn more about the angelic realm than you ever thought possible and you WILL experience a new awareness of the spiritual world!

Price: $89.00
Fulfill Your Financial Destiny Complete Discounted Package

Fulfill Your Financial Destiny Complete Discounted Package

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 1 book | 22 Sessions of both CDs & DVDs

Newly recorded for 2023! Though the economic system (mammon) of this world is under a curse, we have received instructions for how to move out from that dominion and into the blessing of the Kingdom of God. God’s promises to His children have not changed with the whims of government or Wall Street, nor have His directions for how to walk in those promises. We can “choose not to participate” in the economic recession that is around us if we instead choose to obey the logos and rhema of the Lord and enjoy the blessings that result.

Price: $109.95

Hearing God's Voice Mastery Package USB Flash Drive

All our top digital products on this topic! $251 value

Have you ever wished you could just sit down and have a long talk with the Lord? Wouldn't it be wonderful to move beyond having a theology that states that God loves you to actually hearing Him whisper words of love into your heart? When you're worried or confused, wouldn't you love to see the situation from His perspective and hear how He wants you to respond?

Price: $89.00

How Do YOU Know? Complete Discounted Package

by Mark Virkler | 180-Page Book | 12 Audio and 12 Video Sessions | LEARN Workbook | Retail Price: $143.80

How do you know? What is the process you use to discover truth? I did not ask that question during the first 25 years of my life. I used eleven different methods for discovering truth including: if my parents said so, then it was so. If my teacher said it was so, then it was so. If my pastor said it was so, then it was so. If my theology said it was so, then it was so. I have discarded them all and adopted a twelfth method, which is in harmony with what the Bible teaches. We teach you this method in this series. 

This package includes a 180-page book, a 12-session video series and a 12-session audio series, a 40-page workbook, all packaged at a 10% discount!

Price: $125.00

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