Dale Cresap's blog

Have you ever heard the advice, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all? Do you follow it? Have you encountered people who do not? Glib and trite responses do not do justice to the depth of tragedy that people face. Ill-considered replies make things worse. Do you see this as a negative precept? It doesn’t have to be. But what can you do? Your presence even in silence is a source of comfort and support. Job’s (false) comforters even had the decency to do this. You can ‘hold space’ with and for other people in silence.

Do you tell people that you are too busy to maintain a friendship with them? You may not phrase it so bluntly, but if you use busyness as an excuse for not keeping in contact it is the same thing. Have you had others give you this excuse, or have you offered it as an excuse for them, saying that you know they are busy? This can be a gracious way to excuse people who are not willing to put any effort into maintaining a friendship, but everyone has the same number of hours in a day, and who do you know that doesn’t make a priority of the things that are most important to them?

Who do you think you are? Have you crafted an identity for yourself according to your current interests and life status? Do you identify with your clothes and your car? What about your favorite team? What about your house or the city you live in, or the way you earn your living? These are tastes or circumstances and subject to change, but are they the essence of your identity? These are not the real you. How far are you willing to go with this? Do you identify with your church? Yet you can change churches. Does the essence of your being change when you do?

I have given you the Great Commission. How do you view the work of evangelism? Do you see it as a sales pitch? Even if those are not the first words that spring to mind for you, have you seen the gospel message presented this way? Did you find it to be presented fairly and well-received? This is not the only approach. You could also think  of evangelism as a long conversation. It may take many installments. Be patient for the effort is worthwhile. This is more interactive than a presentation, but don’t you feel more invested in a conversation when your own voice is heard?

The Bible speaks of suffering afflictions. Do you think this has any purpose, or is it just pointless pain? Consider the best people you know. Not the wealthiest or most prominent, but the most Christlike. Do they come from backgrounds of privilege and entitlement, comfort and ease? Hasn’t their character been formed in the crucible of the difficulties of life? How else will you obtain a broken spirit and a contrite heart? You may find these things painful for yourself, but don’t you find them to be attractive in others? Think of your wounds as badges of honor and rank. I do.

Do you have a hunger for belonging? This is an inescapable part of the human experience. It is a drive as strong as hunger or thirst. How close a fit do you require of a group to get a sense of belonging? Who wouldn’t like to have a supportive close circle of like-minded friends? Have you searched for this and found it hard to obtain? For you are a unique creation, and the same is true of anyone who would be part of your group. Are you hungry enough for belonging to go outside of your comfort zone to make connections? How large can you make your circle of belonging?

Do you think that loving is a stronger version of liking? This is a popular cultural notion, but it represents a mistaken understanding. Liking is about personal preference. In that regard it is a matter of taste. In the end it is about you. Love, if properly understood, is non-possessive. It is not about you. Does a baby love her mother? She is entirely dependent, but this is not love in the mature form. And so these are widely different concepts. Are there people you like and other people that you dislike? This is inevitable, but you are called to love everyone rather than like everyone.

Do you believe in destiny? I promised you an abundant life, and a future and a hope. How am I doing so far? Do you know where your life will go from here? This is not given to you to know. It would be too great of a burden, too much of a load to bear. Yet it is still beneficial for you to live with a sense of destiny, for this gives meaning and purpose to your life today. To have a sense of destiny it is enough to know that you are on the right path today. You don’t need to know now where it goes, but if you stay on it you will get there.

Those who are in the military are well acquainted with the rank structure and know who is above and below them. Is there a comparable structure in place in the civilian world?  Money is a common means for keeping score, and both those who have it and those who do not are aware of where they fit in the hierarchy. Do you believe in equality? This is a desirable political goal, but it is a modern concept and has not always been accepted. Can you see that this only makes sense under the rule of a supreme being who is superior to all and regards king and peasant alike under him?

Belief is a central theme in the Bible. Do you put a great deal of effort into study to learn what to believe? Do you put as much effort into learning how to live? Which do you consider to be more important? Which did I place more emphasis on in my teachings? Consider the story of the Good Samaritan, who was commended for his kindness in spite of the errors in his beliefs. Consider the Centurion who was commended for his faith even though he was an outsider. Consider the woman at the well, who was also an outsider, who became an evangelist.