Dale Cresap's blog

Have you ever had the occasion to give someone correction, or approval? What is the most gracious way to go about this? Consider the Golden Rule and the way you would want it done unto you. Do you keep correction at the lowest level possible, preferably just involving you and the other person, and maintaining confidentiality? What about approval? If you are caught doing something right, don’t you want the recognition to go up the chain of command? Do you find more opportunities for correction or for approval?

In ancient times festivals and religious observances involved feasting. This was an appropriate way to celebrate in times when food was scarce. An abundance of food was a special treat and part of the celebration. Do you live in an affluent culture in which you can feast every day? Too much of a good thing is not a good thing. And yet food is still central to the life of a faith community, and breaking bread together intensifies human spiritual connection. In a culture of abundance, how can you hold a feast without going to excess? How can you make a feast a special occasion? 

Do you ask people how they are doing? Do they ask you? Do you give the expected answer of, ‘well’, or ‘okay’ or ‘fine’ whether you are or not because that is the expected answer? In some circles this is the expected answer whether it is true or not, and you know when you are in such company. But this keeps contact at a superficial level and prevents you from obtaining the comfort you need when you are going through difficult times. Have you ever asked this question of others without really wanting to know? Recalibrate your expectations.  It is okay not to be okay.

Have you ever had anyone blocking your way? It is frustrating  to have someone impeding your progress. Have you ever been in your own way? This concept doesn’t make sense in the physical realm, but could this be a problem in the spiritual? Do you assume that the flaws of others are holding you back? What about your own fear, insecurity, and risk aversion? This is compounded by the ease with which you can project onto your circumstances and surroundings problems that are based in you.

Are you a heresy hunter? Do you know anyone who is? Everyone thinks their own faith is entirely orthodox, and any deviations from that are suspect. How much effort do you put into hunting down the errors of others and setting them straight? It is good to be zealous for the truth, but do you see how this can backfire? Are those outside the faith more amused or perplexed or dismissive of disputes between believers that claim to represent the same faith? Are you committed to defend the truth? Balance this against the lengths you will go to maintain fellowship with your brother.  

Have you heard of churches that use the practice of shunning as a means of discipline? Those who depart from acceptable practices are cut off from contact by those who remain. There are not many churches left that implement this practice formally and by this term, but how many do this in effect if not by formal policy? You have seen people leave your church for a multitude of reasons. Do you maintain contact with those you considered friends, even if you no longer have the same church in common? Whether you do or not is an indication of the quality of your friendship.

Do you know what sacrifice is acceptable to me? Have you heard that it is a broken spirit and a contrite heart? Do you know people that you would describe in this way? How do you suppose they got there? This isn’t something you can put on your ‘to-do’ list in the morning and check off at the end of the day. Longsuffering is only acquired by suffering long. This isn’t something you can structure and work as a part of a self-improvement program, but if you give your consent I will make it happen. I don’t promise that it will be painless or easy; quite the opposite.

Have you found that every group looks monolithic from the outside? But you know this isn’t true because you have seen groups from the inside. Do you think that all atheists are militant opponents of God? These exist, but you will also find hopeful skeptics who are looking for an excuse to believe if they can find one. Is it an exaggeration to say that there are as many opinions and positions and beliefs as there are people? Even if it is, you can see every person as a special case, and understand where they are coming from so you can help them get where they are going.

Students applying to prestigious academic programs must demonstrate that they have developed the discipline and perseverance to excel. In other words, they must prove that they can make a difference in their own lives. This is desirable and necessary beyond the world of academics. It should be true for every disciple following me. What about making a difference in the lives of others? This is a still more demanding task, but of what value is your virtue if it applies to you alone? You have your reward.

Do you expect gifts to be labeled to identify the recipient? This makes it clear who the gift is intended for. Yet there is a type of gift that is not meant for the one receiving it. Does this seem like a riddle and a paradox and a mystery to you? The gifts that I give do not come wrapped in colored paper. They come wrapped in people like you, for I have not neglected anyone. Yet I didn’t give your gift to you for your own consumption. Have you met people who bestow all that I have given them on themselves? Is there anything less attractive?