Have you heard it said that you should agree with your adversary quickly? Why would you agree with someone you disagree with? If you want to win over your brother, you should start with the weaknesses in your own argument and the strengths in his. He is expecting opposition, so if you start with something he can agree with, you have captured his attention and interest. Does this start you off at a disadvantage? Remember that you have the Holy Spirit to help you recover this if the door is open and exchange is occurring.

Do you have a community? It is not good for a man to be alone and this is a need for every person, to belong and to connect with others. You were not meant to lead an alienated and isolated life. How strong is your community? For most communities are structured on voluntary association, and people can choose to belong or not, and how involved they want to be if they are, and this includes churches. Do you see the value of accountability? Most people accept this in principle even if it is hard to practice.

Are you special? The egocentric part of every person would like to claim this, as somehow superior to others. You are a unique creation, but this applies to everyone else as well, so it doesn’t elevate one above another. You receive my favor and blessing, but I do this for everyone, in fact I send sun and rain on the evil and on the good alike. An even stronger statement is that I open my hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing. Arguments for being special create strife and a competition hierarchy.

When I developed cancer, I realized that there were five or six events that happened in my life like a tsunami, which l believe had lowered my immune system and had opened the door for cancer to flourish.