Have you ever heard of all men referred to as gentlemen, as in the phrase, ladies and gentlemen? This is a polite form of address, but have you found that not all men are gentle? Is gentleness even admired as a masculine trait? It should be at least in the sense of not being threatening to women and children. How much beyond that? Is your concept of masculinity formed by your culture or by universal enduring principles? Can you conceive of a masculinity that is gentle and at the same time strong, courageous, and fearless? If you are a man, can you practice it?

Do you lead a meaningful life? Is there any deeper human longing than a life that makes sense, that gives value to suffering, that attaches your efforts to something transcendent and enduring? Where will you find meaning? Is this something that you can inherit from your family or your church? Can it be real if it doesn’t fit with your own lived experience? Have you ever had new experiences that were too big to incorporate into your existing structure of meaning? Did this present as a crisis of meaning? Did you see this in a positive or negative light?

Do you base your life on theological absolutes? Do you find that this makes it easier or harder to find common ground with others? Consider me. Do you think that my doctrinal positions were correct? Have you noticed how many times I reached out to, and even commended, those who were outside of my own faith? There was a Centurion, a Samaritan woman at the well, and I told a story about a good Samaritan, among others. Doctrinal differences did not prevent me from connecting with, and sharing my message of life with anyone. You could make that one of your theological absolutes. 

Do you want to get what you want? This question seems simplistic and obvious. Who would want otherwise? Yet do you know people who always get what they want? The term for this is spoiled, and it can apply to adults just as much as to children. Sometimes not getting what you want can be better for you. It decentralizes your selfishness and provides opportunities to look beyond your own interests. Do you admire people who are unselfish more than those who are selfish? Do you want to be one? What price are you willing to pay?