Perfect love doesn’t keep reminding you of its expectations.
So God even when we’re having a wonderful back and forward conversation with you, we can still be miles from what you want us to be doing in the big areas of our lives?
Yes Mark. That’s what I’m saying.
Really God?
Yes. Underneath what you THINK is confusion, you can actually hear me speaking.
Really?? It doesn’t feel like it!
God I guess I’m going to have to accept that you’re talking. Really clearly.
Since you turned up and started talking four years ago, I’ve been able to hear you. I’ve wanted to ignore you. I’ve doubted you. I’ve argued with the things you’ve said and promised. Sulked. But there’s not much point denying it. You’ve been talking ever since.
Actually no Mark. I’ve always been talking. You just recognised it, all of a sudden, on that day back then.
Really God?
Yes it’s true for everyone.
Mark normal Christianity is no threat to Doubt at all. In fact it’s the opposite. Normal Christianity keeps you in a cocoon of comfortable belief. A nice easy belief. You don’t have much call for Doubt because you seldom risk your comfortable faith by trying to hear a God who might not speak.
That ‘god’ is an imposter, a judge, a condemner, an accuser.
God I’m waking up in the cabin down by the river. Last night’s fire is still there, the sun’s just coming up over the hill and into the valley. Birds gossiping, dog stretching. The day’s turned up and it seems like you’ve turned up with it.
And you’ve got something to say haven’t you?
I have.
You just said it before as I was waking up didn’t you?
I did. Tell me what you think I said.
Did you say something about circumstances and what they have to do with the meaning of life??
I did. I’ve got a lot to say about circumstances. Unfortunately, so have many others. Too often they make light of other’s pain to support their own positive philosophy. They say ‘what are you doing under the circumstances?’ to people who have no possible way of extricating themselves from their situation.
Good. Me too. I’m waiting in the wings for a chance to be real. In your face, talking all the time, that kind of real.
Ok then. If that’s the case, then there’s something I want to mention. Is that ok?
Absolutely. Go ahead.
Ok. God I like this idea of constant conversation with you about everything.
Good. Me too again.
No I’m not going to whisper. I want everyone to hear this Mark. I want to know why you all think you have to grovel when you talk to me? Am I really that bad?
You’re pretty scary. And anyway I’m pretty bad. You know the drill God. You’re righteous, I’m not. You’re holy, I’m wicked.
Who told you all that?
Mark I want to explain how your history, everything that has happened in your life. The incredibly painful things, the beautiful things. The terrible mistakes and the wonderful highlights. All of your history is VERY important to me. It’s your life. Which is why it’s important to me - you give it value. I love you, as a result I love your story. I don’t want you to wipe it and start again, you can’t anyway. Wherever you go you take your history.
