Have you ever been in a severe crisis and prayed for relief, but did not get the outcome you desired? Have you been told by those in positions of spiritual authority that you did not have enough faith to get what you wanted? This is a form of spiritual abuse, and it is particularly egregious to add this level of condemnation to you in the midst of suffering your trial. Didn’t I chide people for their lack of faith and promise that if they believed they would have whatever they wanted?

Would you like me to play by your rules? But I make the rules. You hunger for my presence, but I can be present with you in a way that you still feel alone. You would like to be spared from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, but I am with you and will sustain you in all things while inexplicably sparing you from nothing. You would like to have rigid certainty. I invite you in to take your place in the divine mystery. In all these cases you would prefer what is easy, comfortable, and convenient for you. Can you accept that I love you even if I choose another approach?

Think of the happiest people you know. Think of the people who have the most fun. Are these the same people? There is a cultural assumption that the pursuit of happiness and the pursuit of fun are the same thing. Has your experience proven this to be true? Fun as commonly understood can be self-oriented and indulgent. The superficial appeal is obvious, but true happiness is more complex, and is more reliably obtained through connections and involvement with other people, through the satisfaction of worthwhile investment in their lives.

Do you know me? Do you have me figured out? Some churches act as if their doctrinal positions are a complete explanation of ineffable divine mystery. Yet it is possible to know me, and I want you to do so, and I open the door by revealing myself. Do you understand that some things can be known relationally that do not lend themselves to propositions? Do you insist on an answer for everything? It is better to leave some questions on the table than to grasp at answers that are incomplete or just wrong.