Have you ever had the occasion to give someone correction, or approval? What is the most gracious way to go about this? Consider the Golden Rule and the way you would want it done unto you. Do you keep correction at the lowest level possible, preferably just involving you and the other person, and maintaining confidentiality? What about approval? If you are caught doing something right, don’t you want the recognition to go up the chain of command? Do you find more opportunities for correction or for approval?

Do you ask people how they are doing? Do they ask you? Do you give the expected answer of, ‘well’, or ‘okay’ or ‘fine’ whether you are or not because that is the expected answer? In some circles this is the expected answer whether it is true or not, and you know when you are in such company. But this keeps contact at a superficial level and prevents you from obtaining the comfort you need when you are going through difficult times. Have you ever asked this question of others without really wanting to know? Recalibrate your expectations.  It is okay not to be okay.

Are you a heresy hunter? Do you know anyone who is? Everyone thinks their own faith is entirely orthodox, and any deviations from that are suspect. How much effort do you put into hunting down the errors of others and setting them straight? It is good to be zealous for the truth, but do you see how this can backfire? Are those outside the faith more amused or perplexed or dismissive of disputes between believers that claim to represent the same faith? Are you committed to defend the truth? Balance this against the lengths you will go to maintain fellowship with your brother.  

Do you know what sacrifice is acceptable to me? Have you heard that it is a broken spirit and a contrite heart? Do you know people that you would describe in this way? How do you suppose they got there? This isn’t something you can put on your ‘to-do’ list in the morning and check off at the end of the day. Longsuffering is only acquired by suffering long. This isn’t something you can structure and work as a part of a self-improvement program, but if you give your consent I will make it happen. I don’t promise that it will be painless or easy; quite the opposite.