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For Those Who Need a Good Laugh

Mark Virkler's picture

Since a merry heart does good like medicine, we could all use some medicine. Here you go. Two funny jokes and one powerful act of kindness story, which will touch your heart.


The sermon with a twist at the end

A minister was completing a temperance sermon.

 With great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

 With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he Said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, 'For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'

The not-so-Christian driver with Christian bumper stickers

An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard.

Suddenly, the light turned yellow just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, and photographed, and then placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do?' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.

Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car!"

The random act of kindness that transformed a life

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy, and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant.

It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's, and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.."

His second-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third-grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper That he got from a grocery bag Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left, she cried for at least an hour.

On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets.."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling* her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for* believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist Hospital in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)

Warm someone's heart today. . . pass this along. Just try to make a difference in someone's life today. Just "do it".

Random acts of kindness, I think they call it?

 

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Healing Emotional Dis-ease   Prayer Approaches   
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Gifted to Succeed eBook

Gifted to Succeed eBook

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 189 Pages

There is no joy so complete as knowing who you are -- who God has made you to be and what your basic giftings and drives are. The goal of this book is to get you effectively functioning in roles which allow you to adequately express your heart motivations and gifts. The fulfillment you experience when you function in your gifts and calling is a joy almost beyond belief.

"Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before obscure men." (Prov. 22:29)

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God Speaks to Me eBook

by MaryAnn Diorio | 45 pages

Many years ago, I read a book similar to this one by MaryAnn Diorio. In it, God was speaking for page after page. I so hungered to be able to hear God’s voice as the authors of that book did, and as MaryAnn does on the pages of this book.

Now God has allowed me the privilege of raising up an army of writers who are sharing what God has spoken to them. This devotional by MaryAnn contains 100 amazing journal entries of God speaking. Below is one sample:

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God's Heart for You eBook Cover

God's Heart for You eBook

a devotional by Uta Milewski | 100 pages

Do you sometimes struggle with thoughts and feelings that you don't measure up? I do and I sometimes need a second opinion and a different perspective. In 2006, during an intense season of first doubt and then searching, God gave me His opinion, His heart for me. It set in motion the victories and freedom I now experience in life. I pray you'll be encouraged by the Scriptures and thoughts God gave me during that time.

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The Great Mystery eBook

Great Mystery eBook

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 54 Pages

This is a workbook which guides you in meditating on hundreds of New Testament verses which speak of Who Christ is within us and how to touch and release Him and His wisdom, power and might continuously and effortlessly out through our lives. You will look up every New Testament verse on being "in Christ," "in Him" and "in Whom." In addition, you will meditate on the various names given to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, and realize that all that He is is available within you and even joined to you (1 Cor. 6:17)! Absolutely amazing!

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Health Mastery Through MRT eBook

Health Mastery Through MRT eBook

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 82 Pages

Wouldn't it be great if there were a way for my body to tell me exactly what it needs and desires, without having to take expensive or invasive tests? Wouldn't it be amazing if I could perform these tests as often as I wanted, right in my own home (or anywhere I wanted), with no costly instruments necessary? 

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Healthier Today Than Yesterday eBook

Mark and Patti Virkler | 103 Pages

I am healthier at age 60 than I was at age 40! That excites me. I want to share with you what I have learned in the last 18 years since I wrote the book Go Natural. I researched and wrote that first book on health when I was 40 years old because my body was beginning to break down. The truths I learned then improved my health and many others have written to tell me that it improved the quality of their health, as well.

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Hearing God Through Biblical Meditation ebook

Unlocking fresh revelation daily - by Mark and Patti Virkler | 179 Pages

For many years I studied the Bible incorrectly, and it produced death rather than life. Even though I had a knowledge of the Scriptures, I did not personally experience the life and the realities they revealed. The Bible calls this the ministry of death, rather than the ministry of righteousness (2 Cor. 3:6–9). Upon coming out of Bible college, I found myself just like the apostle Paul, attacking those who disagreed with my theology. 

Price: $15.95

Hearing God's Voice for Healing e-book

Mark and Patti Virkler | 281 Pages | Retail: $23.99

Explore the many methods Jesus used to heal. Recognize the significance of the fact that more than half the time, the word used for these healings was the Greek word for "therapeutic," which means "cure". Become aware of 28 therapeutic cures which are either mentioned in the Bible or, if not specifically mentioned, are compatible with biblical principles.

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How Could I Have Been So Wrong? eBook

Mark Virkler | 80 Pages

This book is my story of how my cardiac event was resolved by combining the best in medical care, Christian spirituality, and nutrition. 

I was NOT supposed to have a cardiac event. I ate a healthy diet, exercised several times a week, consumed lots of great nutrition and sought to live destressed by abiding in Christ. This story contains the lessons I learned in the months of healing after having emergency surgery which involved five heart bypasses.

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How Do You Know? eBook

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 180 Pages

How do you know? What is the process you use to discover truth? I did not ask that question during the first 25 years of my life. I used various methods for discovering truth such as: if my parents said so, then it was so. If my teacher said it was so, then it was so. If my pastor said it was so, then it was so. If my theology said it was so, then it was so.

Price: $17.95

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