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For Those Who Need a Good Laugh

Mark Virkler's picture

Since a merry heart does good like medicine, we could all use some medicine. Here you go. Two funny jokes and one powerful act of kindness story, which will touch your heart.


The sermon with a twist at the end

A minister was completing a temperance sermon.

 With great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

 With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he Said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, 'For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'

The not-so-Christian driver with Christian bumper stickers

An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard.

Suddenly, the light turned yellow just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, and photographed, and then placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do?' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.

Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car!"

The random act of kindness that transformed a life

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy, and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant.

It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's, and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.."

His second-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third-grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper That he got from a grocery bag Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left, she cried for at least an hour.

On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets.."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling* her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for* believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist Hospital in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)

Warm someone's heart today. . . pass this along. Just try to make a difference in someone's life today. Just "do it".

Random acts of kindness, I think they call it?

 

Related Blogs: 

Healing Emotional Dis-ease   Prayer Approaches   
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49 Lies MP3 Package – 49 Religious Lies Jesus Told Me to Stop Believing

2 PDF eBooks & 49 MP3 Downloads

If you have ever believed any of the following lies, then this book is for you: "Emotions are soulish;" "Money is evil or secular;" "It is wrong to seek vision;" "Don’t trust experiences;" "God gave me a mind and expects me to use it;" "Politics are evil;" God is always beating on me;" or one of 43 more such deceptive lies...

This package is composed of two PDF ebooks, 49 Lies  (100 pages of God's revelation through two-way journaling) and Release from Religion which contains 100 pages of Bible meditation where we search the Scriptures to see if they confirm that these things are so. 

This download package also includes 49 professionally recorded MP3 audio sessions, each 5-12 minutes long, which is my testimony of breaking free from each lie. I discuss what the lie is, its impact on my life, what Jesus spoke, my prayer of repentance and the new freedom I experienced which allows me to step into a new life in Christ.

Price: $69.95

Counseled by God MP3 Audio Download Package

by Mark Virkler | 2 eBooks | 13 MP3 Sessions

Recently Released – 35th Anniversary Edition

The foremost training series in the world teaching you how to become emotionally whole by hearing the voice of the Wonderful Counselor (Isa. 9:6)! This is a great value, and gives you all you will need to ensure this message bears fruit in your life and equips you to share it with others.

Price: $76.85
Fulfill Your Financial Destiny MP3 Download Package

Fulfill Your Financial Destiny MP3 Audio Package

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 1 PDF ebook | 22 Audio Sessions

Newly recorded for 2023! Though the economic system (mammon) of this world is under a curse, we have received instructions for how to move out from that dominion and into the blessing of the Kingdom of God. God’s promises to His children have not changed with the whims of government or Wall Street, nor have His directions for how to walk in those promises. We can “choose not to participate” in the economic recession that is around us if we instead choose to obey the logos and rhema of the Lord and enjoy the blessings that result.

Price: $69.90
Hear God Through Your Dreams MP3 Audio Package

Hear God Through Your Dreams MP3 Audio Package

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 1 eBook | 5 MP3 sessions | Only $24.53

A newer version has just released: Click here for Hearing God Through Your Dreams MP3s by Charity Kayembe and Mark Virkler (featured on Sid Roth in November, 2016).

Do you often wake up feeling there was a significant message in your dream, but you’re just not sure what it is? Like Daniel and Joseph, do you long to be able to help others understand their own dreams and win them to Christ as you explain His night messages to them? Wouldn't it be nice if you could receive mid-course corrections from the Lord while you sleep? Do you wish you could be receiving divine inspiration, creative solutions to problems, and direction from the Lord during that third of your life that you’re “just” sleeping?

Price: $36.90

Hearing God Through Your Dreams MP3 Package

by Mark Virkler and Charity Kayembe | 16 MP3 Downloads | 1 eBook

Learn How to Hear God’s Voice, Even When You Are Sleeping

Receive divine counsel nightly. Increase emotional health, wisdom and creativity.

Price: $56.94

How Do YOU Know? MP3 Download Package

by Mark Virkler | 180-Page PDF eBook | 12 MP3 Sessions | LEARN eWorkbook PDF

How do you know? What is the process you use to discover truth? I did not ask that question during the first 25 years of my life. I used eleven different methods for discovering truth including: if my parents said so, then it was so. If my teacher said it was so, then it was so. If my pastor said it was so, then it was so. If my theology said it was so, then it was so. I have discarded them all and adopted a twelfth method, which is in harmony with what the Bible teaches. We teach you this method in this series. 

This package includes a 180-page PDF ebook, a 12-session MP3 audio series, and a 40-page PDF eworkbook ($79.85 value).

Price: $79.85
How to Walk by the Spirit MP3 Download Package

How to Walk by the Spirit MP3 Package

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 1 eWorkbook | 12 MP3s

Are you like many western Christians who have been taught little about how to sense their spirits? Do you have trouble even defining what spirit sensations feel like within you, much less recognizing them? This training was birthed from Mark’s passion to live out of his spirit, and thus release the anointing of God. The problem he faced was lack of clear biblical definition as to what his spirit felt like. So Mark looked up every verse in the Bible on heart and spirit.

Includes Revised & Expanded 15th Anniversary Edition MP3s

Price: $73.90
Introduction to the Supernatural MP3 Package

Introduction to the Supernatural MP3 Package

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 1 eBooklet | 2 MP3s | Instant download

You don't have to wait 20 years, like I did, to move in the supernatural power of God. Once you know WHAT to do, it is simply a matter of doing it. You take your newfound understanding of how to move in the Spirit and you walk out on the water in faith and discover the anointing of God rests upon you and flows through you. Let us teach you how!

Price: $8.00
Naturally Supernatural MP3 Download Package

Naturally Supernatural MP3 Download Package

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 2 eBooks | 13 MP3 Sessions

Now with Revised & Expanded 30th Anniversary Edition MP3s!

A step-by-step guide on “abiding in Christ” or how to let go and let God live naturally and powerfully out through you. Disarmingly simple. Mind-blowingly powerful.

Price: $84.85
Overflow of the Spirit - MP3 Download Package

Overflow of the Spirit MP3 package

12 Sessions | Book 284 pgs | Workbook 50 pgs | by Mark Virkler and Charity Kayembe

Mark and Charity have teamed up again to create a training series on how to easily manifest the nine gifts of the Holy Spirit. It took us several years to break through all the confusion and present a clear, simple understanding of how to release the nine-fold manifestation of the Holy Spirit everywhere you go and with everyone you touch. It is not hard! It can’t be since these are gifts of the Holy Spirit, not things you have to work for.

Price: $72.89

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