The journaling which follows is from Lyle Thomas, a CLU student, and a missionary in Russia. It was turned in as part of his course work for the class "Increasing the Anointing."
Sometimes I feel like I can feel You way down in there, my spirit wanting to breathe free, wanting to get out and express itself, to burst with energy and life, but it seems too hard to access. I'm like this bird that has come to me a few times today, even landing on my lap, wanting to approach You, but You are very big. What do You want me to know today?
"I am big, and I am scary for those who are not trained to discern the ways of the Sprit. I am scary because I am full of might and power and I release within you the fullness of who you are are in Me. It is much bigger than you see and experience in your normal life of the soul. It is a life of contentment and yet also of fullness and expectancy in the Spirit; it is a life of seeing the potential in everything and seeing with spiritual eyes what is going on around you and responding with spiritual sensitivity and bigness of heart.
"I am the bigness within you that is scary to behold, for it is a fearful thing. It is the death to your old ways. Your old self may be dead, but your new self is not fully awake. It must awaken to Me, to the fullness of the completeness of life in Christ. It is a life of big thought, big ideas, big pictures, big movements, and full engagement with your entire being. It is work and takes training to exercise new muscles. That is why speaking in tongues for you is exhausting. It is an exercise I have for you. Keep doing what you are doing and stretch those muscles and step out into that great unknown.
"This is the improvisational life of the sprit-led man that I am calling you to. It is a life of walking by the music that I play more than the scales of your life. It is a life of letting go of your control and letting Me be who I really am in you. Just as you let go of your tongue to let Me flow through it, you have to also make the decision to left go of your bodily muscles and let Me flow through them. Whether it is shouts of praise, whether jumping for joy, whether dancing in the Spirit, whether embracing someone or making a gesture of love to another, it is all to be done in concert with the grand concert I am preforming in your entire being. It is practice in walking in the Spirit. It is a growing awareness of all that...."
Talk to me more about anointing in this connection.
"Anointing is the power to flow in the grace of the Spirit performed in faith by letting go of your faculties to allow My faculties to flow in their intended power. When you flow in Me and let your faculties flow under My control, then you are giving Me the opportunity to shine forth into darkness and let My light break through and My power be manifest in the earth.
"My power is often limited by the willingness of My people to let Me flow through them. When you make the right choice to do the right thing, then you are obeying Me and My word, but you are not walking by the Sprit, which is another level of obedience to Me. It is simple so that a child can do it, but you must learn to unlearn you ways of making things happen in your strength and power. That strength is nothing compared to the strength and power and anointing that I have available to My children."
How is this different from just letting go of my inhibitions?
"When you just let go, then you are tuning to the flow that is in you, and not necessarily to the flow of the Spirit. You have other things that flow within you and that can influence you. These are not of course from Me. Anointing is the flow of My Spirit through a vessel that is tuned to Me and My flow in obedience to the passion of what I release in you when you let go by faith of your inhibition of the soulish man."
I like this stuff. It seems logical here to ask about this idea of working on a book with Virkler. What do You want to say about that? The last thing I want to do is get distracted, especially by a project that I am not prepared for that I jumped into to stroke my ego.
"You have much to contribute to this discussion, for you are a man after My own heart in your own way. You have a heart to search things out and to understand them, but you also want to know them not with your head but with your heart and to walk them out in life and know how to pass these on to others. This I am well pleased with.
"You and Mark have much in common, and he would benefit from rubbing up against your mind and your questions and your approach to doing things. I would have fun watching you two interact and build a deeper fellowship and connection as you work together on searching Me out for My glory. That's an immanently worthy project, and I would be behind you and with you."
Father, I see that all my life I have been afraid of letting go and trusting that which was within me. I thought it would be artificial. I thought it would be silly. I'm not even sure what else I felt and where it came from. Is there anything You want to show me in this connection?
"I have spoken already My truth to you, and you now have it within you. You are free to live it out."
What would you have me do to experience the anointing more?
"Soak in My presence. Soak in Me. Behold Me. Look to Me. Yield to Me. There is no formula. There is no short cut. There is no simple answer. There is only letting Me work My Spirit and His nature into your everyday walk. Yield yourself in more and more concrete and simple and daily ways. I am in the process, and I am a God of process, unfolding grace and glory in the simplicities of daily life. Sense Me with you in the little things, in the simple conversations, and in the simple ministerial settings, and you will earn the right and the favor to move in to this in other settings."
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