Journaling About Healing Emotional Trauma as Foundational to Restoring Health By Ron Horst

Following is some journaling from Ronald Horst, a priest who has journaled for many years. This is the journaling he did after reading the blog on "Healing Emotional Trauma Is Foundational to Restoring Health."

“See, My words are spirit and they are life. When you see yourself aligned with My life, then My life can freely flow into you with all that My life is—bringing all the fruitfulness of My divine life. Receiving Me, My death and resurrection make you a partaker of My divine life in your nature. When you see Me flowing My life into you and through you, then you are a channel of My life into your body, and also through you to the outer world.

Note that when I say “See” you realize that seeing brings understanding. When you explain something to a child you may ask, “Do you see it?” You are asking them if they understand. This understanding comes from your picturing -- you see yourself receiving My life; you see yourself reflecting My life; you see yourself transmitting My life—all of which are necessary for My life to manifest into your outer world through you.

Does anyone really think I could have calmed the storm if I had been picturing My Father as abandoning Me to the triumphant storm? Now that would have been a vain imagination that would have profited nothing. It is clear that I was at peace in the storm because I saw My Father and His command over the storm as being totally accessible to Me. My seeing this opened the door for Him to flow through ME and manifest the peace of Abba, Father that calmed the storm.

Far too many of My people fret over whether or not My divine power is enough for their storm, yet they foolishly embrace vain imagination that blocks the very power they need. I saw Father’s victory. I saw His victory. I kept Myself open to Him, and this allowed His Holy Spirit to flow through Me and manifest the calming of the storm that could not resist the Spirit’s might. I could never have done that with a vain imagining of casting the storm down in My human strength. So too, without Me you can do (manifest) nothing of Kingdom value or Kingdom effect.

I never denied that the storm was real. I lived out the Father’s victory over it. You do not have to picture how I will heal your emotions or your body. Picture the truth of the Healing. I have an infinite number of ways to manifest My presence to you and through you. Trying to figure it out is a way the flesh tries to prove its worth. Trying to figure it out may be a mask to hide the fact that you are not going to trust Me unless you figure it out. Be like Abraham who allowed himself to see the stars in the sky and the dust on the ground as his numerous offspring without knowing how I would accomplish it. You can know the truth that I have accomplished the healing of your mind, your emotions, your body before you see that manifest. As you do see it, manifestation can follow quickly because once things are aligned in the spirit realm the natural world is designed by Me to follow after.

I love you. You can trust Me in this as you can trust Me in and for all things of My Kingdom."

As a family member and as a parish clergy I have seen many people break through hard emotional issues by allowing Him to walk with them in their pain. No one wants emotional trauma, but when we have it we have to make a critical choice as to whether or not we will choose to walk that trauma alone or with Emmanuel. He is ready. He is able. He longs to gather us like the mother hen gathers her chicks. Jesus lamented over the people’s unwillingness to let themselves be gathered by Him.

I have seen many people close to me refuse to forgive and refuse to accept the Lord’s walking with them in their pain. Some wear their wound as a badge of honor. I myself have walked for far too long in periods of my life where I chose to picture my problems as being insurmountable despite God’s power and might. I never voiced this as I know the "correct" answer, but my heart clung to a picture of my being the victim. To a large degree, my walking out of this prison came from God’s giving me a new picture of His sustaining and breakthrough ability, which I then had to choose to embrace. Mark’s series on Counseled by God was instrumental in helping me move from seeking intimacy as an “assignment” to one of enjoyment. This shift has taken me out of striving, which brought volumes of emotional healing to my life.

I have seen some close to me harbor resentment. They felt that this would not affect them, but it certainly did. In the end, bitterness cost them their health to the extent of taking their very life. I do not say they were unsaved, but the bitterness that they refused to release to Jesus’s heart kept them from seeing His saving life show itself strong in their own lives. Bitterness starts out masquerading as a friend. Then it becomes a persuasive coach. Then it becomes a Pharaoh who lords over. We start out thinking that we can control bitterness to serve our purposes. In the end, it controls us. I am not saying that the Lord cannot break through these later stages, but I have observed people think and manifest more bitterness in an attempt to make it bring about the result which has so far been elusive to them. Like all idols, bitterness fails them. It fails, it can only fail. It will always fail. We are not stuck with bitterness. We can picture the Lord freeing us and releasing His heart to us, because He has already given His life to do so.